Alright, Okay

So, to be honest, I'm nearly content with life right now. Granted school has been kicking my butt these last few weeks (and missing class and having make up work is not conducive to remedying this problem at all) but besides that, I feel like I'm almost as happy and content with my social/relational life as I was freshman year. For others, I guess it wasn't the best. But truly for me, at least my collegiate social life, freshman year was the golden year. I feel like my life is more balanced lately, and I really truly like it quite a lot. I enjoy being really close with a lot of people rather than close with few and surface-y with many. Last year I feel like it was more the latter, but this year, through changes that I cannot say that I enjoyed, I have been able to connect and build strong relationships with lots of people. I've built upon relationships with old friends. I've made new friends. And I feel like I am really content with the state of my relationship with JUST ABOUT all of my friends. Many of my friendships are at their peak right now, and I really like it.

However, there are a couple that are still making me confused, a little hurt, and frustrated, but not enough that it's changing my overall view of life or relationships. I think that the wisest move is to give things time, and hopefully things will progress in a positive way. If they don't, I will have to decide whether to mourn my losses and move on with life, or to try and do something about it. Either way, God has overwhelmingly blessed me with reassurance that there are a lot of people that care a lot about me, and a lot of people that notice my absence. This is so comforting, especially knowing that at the beginning of this year, I was struggling with feeling alone. God is faithful.

Tonight in Deeper, they played "It Is Well," which is the song I played at my Grandma's funeral. It was also played at Coach Randall's funeral. Needless to say, I cried. But it wasn't bad. Wounds are healing. Things still catch up with me, and I've been meaning to write my Grandma a letter to accompany the fake flowers I bought to put on her grave. I'm sure writing that will bring up some memories, but I think bringing them up and dealing with them (within reason) is going to benefit me more than burying them.

So that's about where I am. I am, dare I say, happy? Last time I thought I was happy, a week of catastrophe happened. But we needn't think that way :)

This weekend, I'm going home and I'm gonna get in some QUALITY BFF/MOMMA TIME!!!! It's gonna be great :) I can hardly wait