Take me to the river, make me clean again

Everyone, I am okay. No need to worry. I just have to work through things sometimes. But I figured it was time for a redeeming post after yesterday's less than shining moment. A few hours in bed and good talk with Tammera does wonders.

Friday night in my philosophical state of mind, I struck a gold mine of a song. It is powerful and moving and oh my goodness. Here's the link and lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrSBLU1YQ0I

I will fight the spirit
With a sword in my side
She found a way out
Crack my rib
Wait to die
I think I know you best when I sleep
I think I know everything

Me and my brothers
We have tongues sharp as knives
I found a way out
Make a noise, close your eyes
I think I talk to you best when I sing
I sing about almost everything

Oh God, I need it
So let me see again
Take me to the river
And let me see again
Oh my God
Let me see again
Oh my God
Let me see again
Let me see again

Grace taught her debtor
Daily I'm strained to be
God, how I feel it
Fetter pride to Your feet
I'm gonna leave you the first chance I get
I'm gonna leave you the first change I get
I'm gonna leave you the first chance I get
I'm gonna leave you the first change I get

Oh God, I need it
I was wrong again
Take me to the river
And make me clean again
Oh my God
Make me clean again
And oh my God
Let me see again


Soooo beautiful and moving and honest and WOW I love Manchester Orchestra. So glad Kelsey Moore unintentionally introduced me to them and that I decided to search for more songs by them. I can't stop listening to this one though. It's so good.

This last week, I've just been thinking about and have been moved by the grace of God. How God took something as despicable, disgusting, and depraved as human hearts, something as despicable, disgusting, and depraved as my life, and was able to make something beautiful out of it. I think it was Romans 9 I was in the other night that described us as "objects of His mercy." I don't know why, but that caught my ear and just sounds like something beautiful. My life, my attempts at goodness, my sorry excuse for love, this broken vessel that I am, was chosen by and taken into the hands of the Creator, the hands of mercy, and He covered me with His blood and grace. Because of that covering of mercy, my life was made into something beautiful, something with purpose, something with meaning. People can look at my life and it points to His mercy. That's just so amazing.

At the stripper Bible study last week, Joy was talking about the parable of the Prodigal son. When the son returned, he was no doubt full of shame and was embarrassed of who he was and what he had done. But the father saw him and ran out to meet him. In order to do that, he would have had to of lifted his robe up which was a disgraceful and embarrassing thing to do in those times. She talked about the comfort she felt knowing that though she severely dealt with being embarrassed about her past, the shame of her life, God ran out to her and even went so far as to embarrass or make Himself look foolish in order to pull her in His arms and wrap her in the finest robe, which is Christ's righteousness. When the father saw his son, he didn't see a foolish man who was as low and filthy as the pigs, but saw his son in the finest robe, worthy of the finest celebration and feast. When God wraps us in His mercy, in the finest robe of Christ's Righteousness, He doesn't see who we were or who we are without Him, He sees the glory of His son. And it's all because of grace. This is just amazing to me. We truly are wretches. I am selfish. I don't know how to love. I don't trust God to provide, though He has shown me time and time again that He always does. I am worthless and weak and worry-prone. But God daily surrounds me in His mercy and grace, and because of that, my life has significance.

One of the most profound books I have ever read is The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Kempis, and in one of the first few chapters, he says “Therefore, if you see another sin openly or commit a serious crime, do not consider yourself better, for you do not know how long you will remain in a state of grace. All men are frail, but you must admit that none is more frail than yourself." This continues to challenge and astound me. Not only is the forgiveness of everything we have done wrong an exercise of grace, but every act of goodness we do is also only allowed because of God's grace as well. This is truly humbling. It also makes it easier to not get so frustrated with others who you don't understand because if you think you know how you would do things better, it would only be God's grace that prompted and gave you the ability to do so, not because of any ounce of goodness you had on your own. Even my "goodness," though I may foolishly call it my own, points to His grace.

Alright, well I'm gonna stop talking now. Sorry if this was just rambling preaching or something. But I really have just been pretty overwhelmed by His beautiful, sweet grace lately. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for making me into an object of your mercy.

Truly my life is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
My life is like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall--the sap of spring;
O Jesus, rise in me.

My life is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
Or cordial in the searching cold;
Cast in the fire the perished thing;
Melt and remould it, till it be
A royal cup for Him, my King:
O Jesus, drink of me.