I wish I was Jewish

Well after an extensive trip to Meijer, loading my car from floor to ceiling (nearly literally) and a 45-minute drive, I am back at Spring Arbor for second semester of my junior year, though it is technically J-term now. We had our first day of classes today and I subsequently also had my first day of babysitting today as well. I also found out that the girl that was originally babysitting on Thursdays has told Kendra that she is not doing it any longer. So I'm the only one. Excellent. Ahh well. I will just have to find my spine and make sure she only schedules me for once a week still. However, new years bring new things, and Suzanne is now POTTY TRAINED!!! HURRAY!!! So hopefully my share of poopy diapers is gone. Now it will be dirty pullups. Just kidding. But seriously. She pooped right before I had to leave today so I dodged a bullet there. So hopefully I'll keep dodging bullets, or turds.

B and Emily are both sleeping and I feel kind of creepy sitting here. And B just hummed in her sleep. So now the situation is just creepy in general.

So I wasn't sure before, but I guess Core 300 is about spiritual formation. I did not know that when I registered, not that I had a choice, but I am, intrigued, we'll say, to see how it goes. Because of my Christian school upbringing, I raise a B-style skeptical eyebrow towards any kind of class that entails spirituality. I raise a B-style skeptical eyebrow towards anything with spiritual labels really. Which is good and bad. We are told to test everything we hear. At the same time, I am probably a harsher critic than most and probably discredit some things that could actually have benefit if I weren't so stubborn and suspicious of things that claim to be "spiritual." I have seen too many people who aced Bible class but lived in contradictory ways. I have seen too many people who could eloquently define contrition but never felt it, accumulated tons of Biblical knowledge but never learned how to implement it. I have seen too many difficult, deep, bleeding gashes bandaged in cute, shallow analogies and rehearsed lines that never helped anyone. So while my Bible classes gave me a lot of Biblical knowledge, which has it's value no doubt, it also gave me skepticism towards people that are really dang good at faking it or making it into something it's not.

It seems a great focus of Core 300 will be intentional living, which I think is great. But at the same time, is that something you can really teach in a class? And other parts of it seem like a recap of my 10th grade Bible class, which I was not in any way anxious to return to. Some of the answers in class today seemed that way anyway. Also, I have a hard time when spiritual formation and religious practices are classes because it can make the Bible homework. It makes it easier for me to think of my faith as something I need to keep a 4.0 in instead of a gift of grace and a working sanctification process. However, despite how I have spent much of the last 2 paragraphs talking about all the reasons I am skeptical, I am still hopeful that this class is going to have some profound implications and am excited. It should also be a great start to implementing spiritual principles at the beginning of the year after all these new year's resolutions and whatnot.

I read (most of) the first book tonight, called Mudhouse Sabbath and it was really good. I rarely say that about Christian books. Darn skeptical eyebrow again, but this one was very interesting. It was written by a woman who was raised Jewish but converted to Christianity in college and she talks about different Jewish practices, the reasons behind them, and how Christianity could really benefit from them. I thought the grief section was especially interesting and profound. I feel like Paul Patton because I've totally used profound like 3 times already, but it really was. Also, we're supposed to pick a spiritual discipline to practice during J-term and I have decided to actually observe the Sabbath for J-term, which means going to church every weekend first of all, and also means that from sundown on Saturday until sundown on Sunday, I will not be doing homework, going anywhere, or doing any other kind of work but will instead try to seek some solitude and rest in the Lord. I think it's going to be great. I also think it might be one of the hardest things I've done. Not going anywhere, especially Saturday night, is going to be really difficult. Also, focusing on God even if I have a bad attitude about not getting to go anywhere is going to have to be very intentional. But I am excited. I think God wanted rest, particularly rest with spiritual intentions, for a reason. So that will be interesting.

Sometimes, I think protestants chide the more rigid practices of religions like Judaism, Catholicism and such and are quick to say that it's all ritual and Christianity is a relationship. I agree, to an extent, that a religion that is all ritual may not build a very deep relationship with God. But sometimes Christianity can put too much weight on emotions and I don't think this will build a very stable relationship with God. I think both the emotional aspect of Christianity and ritual aspect can be mixed together to build something that is both deep and stable. When the happy feelings are gone and hope is hard to find, ritual has its place to keep things together, but ritual in and of itself needs some sort of heartfelt life for it to mean anything too. I guess I should be happy. I'm already discovering things from Core 300.

Well, once again, it is far too late and this blog is far too long. So I am off to bed! Goodnight everyone!