Today was...

a day. Actually, to be honest, it was kind of a crappy day. I've just felt grumpy like an old man all the livelong day and right now I am in my bed and it is where I have wanted to be since the moment I woke up. It was kind of one of those days that would have been better had I just not woken up at all. I don't mean that in a morbid, "I wish I was dead, I hate my life," kind of way, more of I wish I could have just pushed the skip button on this one. Skipped this day. Skipped this scene. Wasn't anything special anyway, unless you have a sadistic type of humor. Don't think anyone really would have missed me much today anyway.

(this was written about two hours ago. Conversation with Bri has elapsed since.)

I babysat Suzanne today, the little two-year-old tyrant. When I first got there, she was like a banshee. She was literally running laps through the kitchen and living room. I was fearing for my life a little. I did not have the adequate amount of sleep for that. Then she tripped on a cord and her sugar buzz or whatever it was came crashing down with her little body. For the next hour and a half, she swung between whiny and causelessly crying. Pleasant, let me tell you. After taking about half an hour to wait for her to chew three times, randomly cry with a spoonful of macaroni in her mouth, chew some more, and then swallow (repeat) she finally went down for her nap. And that is probably the last I will see of Suzanne in 2010. Too bad our last day consisted of some of her less-than-desirable faces.

I came back, ate lunch, did stats homework and started on my Modern Social Problems paper, and then went to choir. I'm not even going to try and sugarcoat this one. Choir today was awful. Truly terrible. We have a concert in three days, none of the pieces are performable yet, even with music, and they are all a Capella. A Capella is great except that we are going flat even when the piano is playing with us. We're still doing note work. I don't know how we're going to have these songs memorized by Friday. And a song performed with music compared to a song confidently performed from memory is like comparing a sandbox to the beach. Zoey 101 to Dorm Life. Ramen Noodles to Olive Garden. Confidently memorized music opens up space for so much life to enter the song. But it seems our choices are either look tacky with music and have 80% note accuracy with very little feeling or emphasis, or butcher the pieces from memory with some feeling that will probably be overshadowed by awful. That may have been a little harsh. But I really don't think I have ever felt like a choir I was in was this unprepared for a concert. I mean when the soloist literally sings a section's starting pitch and ythey still can't get it, I don't know what else you can do! And God bless the basses' souls, but let's just say the Good Lord knew what He was doing when He didn't give me laser vision. There would have been many casualties today. Ohmygosh. Shut. Your. Face. People were talking when Renae played the starting pitches. People were still talking one beat before the entrance to the song. Really? Really? I don't think I've been in a choir with that much of a talking problem since maybe middle school. The playing of the opening pitches is a time of reverence. You do not talk during that time. You especially do not talk right before the piece is about to begin. Beautiful music, moving music, particularly for a choir, takes engagement and focus of mind, body, and heart, and this has to be set before the piece even begins. If you are still talking to Bass-Boy-Big-Mouth during this time, I don't care who you are, you need to shut up because you are not as funny or as subtle as you think you are. It is no wonder we go two steps flat every song. Ay yi yiiiiii!!!! I was pretty much LIVID by the end of choir. I literally had some kind of acid indigestion going on because I was so stressed out by everything. I called my mom and vented to her afterwards. She told me I have been blessed with the curse of a perfection-seeking musical ear, and ADHD. Not such great blessings for such a time as this. She's probably right. But seriously. Was not happy.

After that I ate dinner and tried to get more of my paper done, and then went to stats only to realize I had left my stats folder in the room and had to go get it. In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal, but after two irritating instances already, it didn't make me too happy. Then I get back to class, just wanting to go to bed, only to find a practice exam. I did not feel like doing it at all. Actually, trying to do a math exam was about the last thing I wanted to do at that point. So that was peachy. I grumbled my way through it and the rest of class and was off.

After stats, I went to the O1 Christmas Party which was interesting to say the least, tried to get more of the dang paper done, and ended up going to Meijer for like, an hour and 45 minutes even though I still had a whole nother paper to do plus finishing the first one. We only returned with two liters of juice and a case of Mountain Dew. We had gathered that within the first 10 minutes of being in the store. I don't know what took so long. I came back and tried to finish my paper, but felt more like drilling my head through a wall or curling up in a ball in my bed and crying. I just felt so frustrated. With everyone and everything. So I took a shower. I finished the paper, and just said screw it with the second one and was just gonna head to bed. Then I ended up having a long, good conversation with Bri, and to be honest, that made it worth waking up today. So thanks Bri.

Well that was my day in a nutshell. Somehow I woke up a Negative Nancy and wasn't ever really able to shake her off. Looking back over stuff it wasn't that big of a deal, it was just really frustrating. Just one of those days I guess. Hopefully tomorrow I'll wake up as Positive Polly. More than likely it'll be Sleep Deprived Darla.

Kelsey, shut up. You sound stupid.

Jesus, help me.