Not for the faint of heart

As I am getting deeper into my major, I am realizing how devastating my life has the potential to be. I just read a chapter on sex trafficking. It breaks my heart every time. As it should. Yet the most I've done about it is writing a 23 page research paper on it, refrained from buying chocolate a few times, and purchased a $34 pack of merchandise that is supposed to fund education for victims or something. I have felt a possible tug on my heart to really get involved in it, but it's such a daunting task. It would mean having a broken heart every day. It could possibly mean leaving everything and everyone I know and going to a foreign country and learning a new language, eating foreign foods, being immersed in a culture completely different from my own, for years and years. And right now, I am getting nervous to spend 3 weeks in Guatemala. But it's what I would want someone else to do if I was stuck in a different world, in a different, hopeless, harrowing situation. I could help. Does that mean I should? Does that mean I will? Does that mean that's where God is calling me? One of the things that really caught me off guard was this little section:

Shortly after the operation (he's speaking of the operation where they rescued a girl named Elisabeth from a brothel that she was forced into) I was sitting at my desk when one of my staff members showed me a picture of a wall inside the tiny room where Elisabeth had been locked up at the brothel. There was something written on the wall in tiny letters, and I asked a coworker to translate it for me. It was Psalm 27:1-3. "The Lord is my light and my salvation -- so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident." Elisabeth had written these words on the wall of her room, a visible reminder of her daily prayer for God to rescue her form the brothel.

(Zealous Love by Mike and Danae Yankoski) Can you imagine? Seriously, I think either my biggest fear or certainly on the list of Top 3 biggest fears in my life, is being raped. For this girl, that fear was a reality time after time, night after night. And she could still ask questions like "Why should I be afraid?" and statements such as "The Lord is my light," and "My heart will not be afraid." I feel as though if I were in that situation, I would almost find this verse to be a mockery of my life. Gah. This kind of stuff. Evil. Prevalent evil. It's so disheartening. And so frustrating. Why can't we just treat each other well? Why can't we see that wrong is wrong? Why is it so hard and complicated to make it right? These are the thoughts that I am going to bed with tonight. And these kinds of thoughts will probably be normal for me to go to bed with throughout my entire career. Joy. But truly. Someone needs to hurt and someone needs to act. *nervous gulp* Here I am Lord. Send me...