I don't know if this is like a Christian campus thing, or what, but I am SICK TO DEATH of the guys on this campus right now! Well maybe not sick to death but.... actually no. It's completely true. I am just so frustrated!
Let me lay out this scenario that has been repeated over and over again in my life recently:
I have an acquaintance who happens to be of the male gender. I see him in chapel. He waves and smiles and says hi. I see him walking through the plaza. He waves and smiles and says hi. I see him in the student center. He waves and smiles and says hi. Perhaps we even share some small talk a time or two on common commutes between Point A and Point B. These are mutual waves, smiles, greetings, and small talks, meaning they are not just driven and instigated and initiated by me. So I think, "This guy seems nice, and we say hi all the time. We should probably be friends past waving, smiling, and greeting." So I drop a little facebook wall post, or perhaps even a text of "Hey, we should hang out sometime." ........silence.......... and the waves, smiles, and greetings continue, but no friendship past acquaintance ever forms.
For the love of St. Patrick, I just want guy friends. I've never really had many guy friends, and I would like a little more balance of testosterone and estrogen in my life. I don't want to jump into a marriage. I don't want a ring by spring. I don't want to jump into a serious relationship. I don't even want to jump into a non-serious dating relationship! I just want guy friends! Friends. FRIENDSHIP!!!! But when I say "let's hang out," they hear "I already have the wedding planned and an order in for business cards with my first name and your last name on them. Our children will be beautiful, hope you don't mind I named them all already. Don't worry, one is named after your father whose name I found by creeping on your facebook wall." And then they don't respond!!!!! I thought guys got frustrated because girls always have hidden messages in what they say and get mad when guys don't read into them. This has no hidden message. I want to hang out. Pure. Simple. Innocent. Genuine. Hanging out. What in the blazes am I supposed to do? What, am I supposed to write on a guys' facebook wall and say "Hey, acquaintance. Let's hang out sometime. Oh and just to clarify right off the bat, I'm not interested in dating you." If so, that is ridiculous. First of all, because lots of the guys I want to hang out with and get to know, I would not completely rule out dating them perhaps somewhere in the distant future if the friendship was strong and the time was right. Because, crazy I know, I want to be friends with quality, nice guys. Quality, nice guys, also compose potential dating material IN THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!! Even in light of that super hypothetical situation, when I want to hang out with a guy, it's not because I'm already planning on how we're going to end up together. I just want to get to know new people because I like getting to know new people. I want some guy friends who aren't my girl friends' guy friends or my girl friends' boyfriends, but just my very own guy friends. But because my motives are questioned, I don't even get that chance. The men on this campus need to buck up and chill out!
I am so tired of getting blown off and ignored. I'm tired of not even being given a chance. I mean, I know I'm not God's gift to hottness, but it's not like I'm the poster child for bag ladies either. There's no reason for a guy to run away with his tail between his legs when I pursue a friendship with them, even if they believe there is some small chance I may be interested in them. I just want a chance. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong : (
Well that's enough whining about men for now. But for real. Any enlightenment at all... let me know.
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