I tell you what, basically all the other Bible studies I've been to have been kind of like "Okay, I think I got something out of that..." afterwards, but one week at Eve's Angels will give you enough to chew on for a month. There was me, my mom, and one other lady from our church, and then Anny the Bible study leader, as well as Laura and Shawny who are currently in the industry, Christine, who recently got out, her daughter Tanya (3) and her sister Marissa (17), some guy they brought with them, another girl named Tasha who was filling out community service hour slips the whole time, and Anna from Calvin. The topics were kind of all over the place and there is always something going on, including a couple F bombs and other choice words. Definitely the first Bible study I've gone to where someone used the f word, haha :) But I tell you what, this stuff is real. At first, Anny was talking about some weird stuff that was kind of sketchy, but my mom kind of set her straight, and then we started talking about the end times because of Japan and stuff, and really, the conversation was all over. But Anny and my mom laid out some important truths that I am desperately praying will permeate through these girls' hearts. Mine could use it too.
Please, Please PLEASE join me in praying for these girls! Laura and Shawny I think are still struggling with the assurance that they won't end up being in hell even though they know Jesus. They were struggling with the Matthew 24 and 25 passages and seemed to be afraid that they would be one that God would cast into hell even though they expected to go to heaven (Praise God, these girls are in their Bibles and I would say know them better than probably half of Spring Arbor University students. But they need some prayer that the Holy Spirit will help them to interpret it right and not let Satan twist God's truth). Christine is in good spirits and has so much light in her, but reality is that she just quit the industry in January and is still unemployed and found out last week she is pregnant. So that's a lot to overcome. And please pray so so so hard for Marissa. You can see the weight of the world in her eyes, and she was talking tonight about how she doesn't really believe there is a heaven and hell and has been trying to give God a chance but doesn't really see Him doing anything. I have never seen hopelessness more real than tonight when I saw it in Marissa. My heart breaks for her, and she has already experienced so much that I cannot even fathom. Anny was trying to talk to her, but there is only so much talk can do and meeting physical needs can do. This girl has been robbed spiritually her whole life. She has been fed so much darkness and I just pray she will be able to see the Light of God that can show up in any and every situation. Oh, dear God, bring her Your Light!
I had so many emotions leaving tonight. You think you have things pretty well figured out, that you can answer the hard questions and can refute the doubt in your mind and that you've finally become fool proof. And then you realize your answers are only sufficient in a white-collar, middle-class, "you were born blessed" kind of a way. It's so hard to know what to say to a girl who asks "Well where was God?" when you know that you struggled with that question when your dog died and she is struggling with that question because her mom locked her in her closet and deprived her of food and sold her to men for drug money and called her a whore all her life. Sometimes we get so comfortable in our little perfect churchy worlds that we don't realize that the world is a real place that's a real mess with some seriously real pain and some real hard questions. At least I do. My darkness doesn't seem so dark when I know what these girls have been in their lives and where they go to work every night. It's hard to say "God can be light in every darkness," when their darkness seems so much thicker. I do believe my God can be light in the darkest of darkness, but it's hard to know how to get these girls to see it when I would have nightmares just after watching a movie based off of their lives. And it breaks my heart that Shawny and Laura seem to struggle with understanding that God wants to be with them for eternity. I do not come to grips with the understanding that I am a wretch. They do not come to grips with the understanding that they are a treasure. I pray the words of "Before the Throne of God Above," would become so real in their lives. Oh, that they would know that "before the throne of God above, they have a STRONG and PERFECT plea, a great High Priest whose name is Love, who ever lives and PLEADS for them. Their names are graven on His hands, their names are written on His heart. And that they would know that while in heaven He stands, no tongue can bid them thence depart." And oh, how I pray that "when Satan tempts them to despair and tells them of the guilt within, upward they will look and see Him there who made an end to all their sin. BECAUSE A SINLESS SAVIOR DIED, THEIR SINFUL SOULS ARE COUNTED FREE, FOR GOD, THE JUST, IS SATISFIED TO LOOK ON HIM AND PARDON THEM, TO LOOK ON HIM AND PARDON ME."
Anny and my mom talked about how Matthew 24 and 25 is talking about people who fall for False Prophets, but people who fall for False Prophets are those who do not know their Shepherd's voice. Anny also talked about how in the government, there are people who can pick out counterfeits easily because they have microscopically studied and know the real thing. She said that God is the same way, and we need to study and get to know God so well that when counterfeits come up, we will know right away that it's not God because we know our Shepherd's voice and we know what God and the things of God look like. She also said that things like the earthquakes in Japan remind us that life is temporary and we need to get going now and be obedient now and stop messing around. She also talked about how when we get salvation, we get the full steak dinner. But if we continue to consciously fall for sin, it doesn't mean that we get the steak dinner taken away from us, it just means that we're nibbling on a french fry when we've been promised the full steak dinner. And she wants the whole dang steak. God promises victory over sin, and when we choose not to be victorious over some area of sin in our lives, it doesn't mean that God's grace doesn't work anymore, it just means that we're short-changing the implications of our own salvation. This puts Eve's Angels into a better perspective for me.
I guess that's where this title comes in a little too. We sure as heck make things complicated. Sin sure as heck makes things complicated. But truly, I am thankful for God's kind of loving because it is simple. He loves me. He chose me. He has grace for me. And because God took me as a wretch and made me into a treasure, my life has so much more. It won't be easy, but at the end of the day, it is simple. God's love remains no matter what else is trying to make my life complicated. I am thankful tonight for the pure, simple love of God. There are no strings attached. Hallelujah, hallelujah, Praise the One Risen Son of God.
Well, I could probably keep going for another 6 sections or so, but this blog is already long enough. But like I said, there is enough from tonight to keep me chewing for awhile. The biggest thing I've taken away from it is that I need to pray pray pray for victory over Satan for these girls. I swear to you guys, they are such bright and beautiful people. They're not hard to like and they're not hard to want so much more for. I can only imagine how much our God pines for their complete victory and for them to grasp how He sees them as a treasure. Please pray for these girls with me. God, send them light and truth and defeat Satan's lies right now.
Well I'm off to bed. Goodnight all.
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